like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
i believe in u and ur pee
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize