What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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