just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
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