Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
