i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
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