Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
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