I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
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