that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
