was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Randomize
