it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Randomize
