can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
