i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Randomize