Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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