well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
be right there i have to get my cape
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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