Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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