You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
this will be a night to untag.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
