do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Randomize
