were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
