Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
