You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize