Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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