when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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