yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
did i walk over a car last night?
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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