guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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