if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize