She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
