Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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