I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
