its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Randomize
