I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
