You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Randomize
