Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
