How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
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