just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
