I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
