I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize