just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
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