Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Randomize