im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
