So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
