Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
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