Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
How's work?
Spinning.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
