So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
