Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
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