So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I want her autograph on my taint
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
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