There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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