There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
