She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
