I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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