The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Randomize
