i may or may not be watching the land before time
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
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