There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
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