At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
This couple is walking their pig around campus
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize