please come you make the beer taste better
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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