THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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