I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
