I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
