problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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