I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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