god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
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