Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
oh god the rape fog is back!
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
