organizing the empties. That sober.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Randomize