I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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