Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
