Pants 0. Shit 1.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize