So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Randomize
