I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
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