somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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