Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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