Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
