every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
